The Embarrassing One (or the story of Arkansas' Football Team)

Every group has one, and everybody knows one. It's the coworker that is so mortifyingly bad at what they were hired to do that you would rather work overtime every day of the week than let them do part of the project. It's the family member that you would just as soon people not know is related to you. It's the friend that you inevitably end up dragging home, drunk as a skunk, after he or she swore they had learned their lesson the last time. You know who I'm talking about.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the 2012 edition of the University of Arkansas' football team!

They're not just bad, they're horrendous, and I propose it might be a good idea for them to seek another football conference. Don't get me wrong, the SEC has teams that consistently aren't great, teams that are even pretty bad (see Vanderbilt and Kentucky). BUT... I don't remember the last time that either one of those teams lost games to both a Big East team and a Sun Belt team in the same season, much less with a 52-0 conference loss thrown in between. This is the first time in 12 years that a preseason top ten team has lost three times in September. That's just sad.

We can make excuses for them all day.

Their coach got into an unfortunate motorcycle accident with his mistress and was fired. True, but this is the same man that snuck out on the Atlanta Falcons in the middle of the night so he could "call the hogs" so it can't be a huge shock that his morals are somewhat questionable.

Their quarterback suffered a concussion and missed their beat down at the hands of Alabama. True as well, but he had a hand in the other losses. Not to mention the fact that he told everybody and their brother that the team, specifically the defense, quit, which is guaranteed to raise a few eyebrows... and not in a good way.

At the end of the day, maybe they just aren't as good as we thought they would be. Their Heisman Trophy-candidate quarterback is more likely to be a nominee for goat of the week than be invited to New York any time soon.

Therefore, it is only fair that Arkansas be given an opportunity to join a conference where they could be a candidate to win the conference immediately, even in their current putrid state.

Obviously, there is no better place for them than the Big 10. After all, this the conference that looks so far from being competitive with the other conferences that Northwestern is their current shining football star. Northwestern. A team that is more likely to be compared to Vanderbilt or Duke than Alabama or USC.

Northwestern. Not exactly the program I would want carrying my BCS Championship hopes, no matter how great their academics.

Ultimately, Arkansas, you're just embarrassing. We're the best conference in college football and you're running down the brand. Every time we feel the need to chant S-E-C and point to our four top ten teams, our naysayers feel the need to point out how bad you are. Like we don't know.

Bottom line... shape up or ship out to the land of "Old Man Football."